Living in Survival Mode Is Not Living—

It’s Time to Break the Cycle

If you’re here, you probably know this feeling: every interaction with your ex feels like stepping into a battlefield you never asked to enter. A single text can ruin your entire day. An email can leave you sleepless at night, replaying words that cut deeper than they should. The court papers arrive, and instead of clarity, you feel waves of fear, anger, and exhaustion wash over you again.

Parents tell me they feel like they’re living in constant survival mode—always waiting for the next attack, never knowing when the next explosion will come. You try therapy. You try mediation. You take parenting classes, hoping that something will change. But nothing seems to touch this level of conflict. The chaos doesn’t get better. In fact, it often gets worse.

And in the middle of all of this, there is your child. Watching. Absorbing. Trying to make sense of why the people they love the most can’t stop fighting. You see it in their eyes, in their silence, in their acting out. It breaks your heart because you know they deserve better—but you feel powerless to give it to them when you’re barely holding yourself together.

This is what high-conflict divorce does. It drains you of peace, of hope, of the future you imagined. And yet, even in the darkest moments, there is a way to step out of the war zone—not by fixing your ex, but by learning how to disengage, reclaim your stability, and model calm for your child.

My Journey From Being Trapped in My Own High-Conflict Divorce… to Helping Thousands of Parents Break Free

I don’t share this often.

Years ago, I went through a brutal, two-and-a-half year divorce — the kind filled with court battles, constant arguments, and enough stress to keep me awake for nights on end.

It was litigious, expensive, and emotionally draining. And I saw first-hand how the conflict was affecting my child.

During that time, someone said two things to me that changed everything:

“As goes the marriage, so goes the divorce.”
“Stay away from the flypaper.”

Those phrases hit me hard. They made me realize that if I kept reacting, I’d stay stuck in the same cycle forever.

That’s when I began to step back… and really look at what fuels high-conflict divorces. I realized most advice out there — from well-meaning therapists to aggressive lawyers — was only adding more gasoline to the fire.

And that’s how the High Conflict Diversion Program was born in 2002.

Since then, I’ve:

• Taught classes to parents across the U.S., Canada, Australia, New Zealand, Puerto Rico and the UK

• Trained instructors to teach the program nationwide

• Written The Black Hole of High Conflict to share my strategies

• Created and host The High Conflict Co-Parenting Podcast, reaching thousands of listeners worldwide

• Worked in family court, seeing up-close how conflict destroys families

• Guided hundreds of parents to break free from the fight and give their kids a peaceful home

Why I’m Offering This for Free

You might be wondering: “What’s the catch? Why would someone with decades of experience offer me a free session?”

Here’s the truth. I know how hard it is to reach out for help when you’re in the middle of the storm. The fear, the exhaustion, the mistrust—it all keeps you paralyzed. I don’t want that to stop you from taking the first step.

That’s why I’m giving you this 20-minute consultation—at no cost. Not a webinar. Not a sales pitch. A real, private conversation with me.

During this session we will:

• Pinpoint the traps that keep you locked in the cycle of conflict.

• Identify the shifts you can make right now to reduce chaos and stress.

• Outline your next steps toward creating a safe, stable structure for you and your child.

• Equip you with tools to regulate your nervous system and stop being pulled into every fight.

This is about clarity. This is about you realizing—maybe for the first time in months or even years—that you do have choices. That there is a way to reclaim your peace and show your child that calm is possible.

I offer this free because I know once you experience this shift—even in just 20 minutes—you’ll see the value of this work. You’ll know you don’t have to stay stuck.

Why You Can’t Wait

Every day you stay in this cycle is another day your child absorbs the stress, confusion, and hostility. Research shows that children of high-conflict divorce are two to four times more likely to experience serious emotional and behavioral struggles.

The cost of waiting is enormous:

• Your child’s wellbeing. The longer the conflict goes on, the deeper the impact.

• Your mental health. Burnout, anxiety, and depression are common in parents under prolonged high conflict.

• Your finances. Endless court battles drain resources without resolving the root problem.

• Your future. Years can pass without clarity or peace—unless you choose to change course.

This is not about fixing your ex. It’s about breaking the pattern. It’s about you stepping out of the fight, modeling calm, and giving your child a stable foundation no matter what the other parent does.

Lives Transformed

Testimonials from parents who’ve worked with me